Leaving Tex (and Tony)

If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time, you probably know about obsession with love for my dog Tex and kitty Tony. I gush about them a lot, so it might be a surprise that neither of them is coming with me to Wisconsin. This makes me incredibly sad.

When I moved back into my parents’ house after college, our Great Pyrenees, Hercules, still lived there. Unfortunately, that summer he passed away in a very tragic way, devastating my family. We were in no hurry to get another dog, but my mom and I  found joy visiting the pet store to play with puppies. (I realize that pet stores are a sensitive subject and that adopting is always the best option, but I also know that my love for Tex isn’t any less valid because of where I got him.) On one of our first visits to the pet store, we met Tex. Only then, we’d nicknamed him Pepe after my mom’s childhood pet.

On the way to visit that pet store every time for the next four months, we’d  wonder aloud if Pepe would still be there. We were happy to see him every time we returned, but also a little sad that he was growing up in a cage in a Pet store. I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow, after visiting him for four months we decided it was meant to be and we were going to get that little Pepe and bring him home to be my dog. He was part of my graduation present from my parents, only I changed his name to Teixeira (yes after the Yankee).

I never thought that I would get a dog, especially a little dog. Before Tex, I didn’t understand the appeal of small dogs. Don’t get me wrong, I thought they were adorable. I just preferred big dogs. But I’ve learned that small dogs are so much easier to care for, but no less loving.

And despite his imperfections, Tex is awesome. He comes mostly when I call him. He stays in our unfenced yard, only leaving to chase the occasional squirrel, or greet a passerby on the sidewalk. He loves the water, but hates when his feet can’t touch the bottom. He is the fastest runner I’ve ever met and loves all squeaky toys. He will retrieve a ball and allow you to forcibly pull it from his clenched jaw to throw it again. He can come, sit, shake, lay down, high-five, speak, and dance but he will be upset if you don’t reward him for his efforts with a dog treat or a piece of cheese.

So obviously, I’m quite upset that the house Jon and I will be living in, in Wisconsin, does not allow pets. It’s the very dark cloud on my horizon; leaving Tex (and Tony) behind.  I’m going to miss the fact that every time I sit down on the sofa, Tex immediately sits beside me. I’m going to miss his enthusiastic welcome whenever I come in the door after work or going out.  I’m going to miss his cuddle in the mornings too, but mostly I’m just going to miss him.

And I know it’s going to be hard, but I also know that Tex will be happy with my parents. He’ll have the familiarity of his house and his yard. He’ll have two people who love on him all the time (and feed him meat off their plates) and two cats who provide him with countless opportunities to referee cat spats. I also know, that as soon as Jon and I are able to have pets, I’m going to swoop in and take Tex and Tony back. I love my pets, and leaving them is extremely hard, but I do know they’re in good hands, until I can be their mom again.

Have you ever had to leave a pet for any reason? How did you deal with it?

A Special Letter to My Brother on His Birthday

Dear Big Brother,

Today is your birthday. Your secret worry about aging is apparent in your constantly mentioning how close you are to 30, but I know you have nothing to worry about. After all you’re a lot like cheese, a little smelly, but better as you age.

I’ve always admired you. Since the first 15 months of my life, when I sat on my baby bum not needing to learn to walk, content just watching you run and play and joke and laugh, you’ve always been able to entertain me; you’ve always had a knack for entertaining our entire family. No one could make Grandma laugh like you could. It was infectious, when you were your goofy self, doing any and everything in attempt to make her laugh, everyone would look up and watch, and you’d make laughter catch and spread like wild fire.

But you are so much more than the provider of family entertainment. You have a deep thoughtful side made all the more awesome because of the rarity in which you present it. You have this unique ability to advise without pompous judgement, to subtly point me or others in the direction we weren’t aware we wanted to go. The way you care for each of your family members, with your unique, steady, peaceful, but powerful love. Your method of caring, is perhaps the thing I love most about you.

And yet it’s hard to choose just one character trait as my favorite when there are so many things to love about you. Your smile, your consistent quest for knowledge (not just for facts but for how your loved ones feel), your fierce love for all animals but especially dogs, your intelligent thoughtfulness, your not-quite-but-almost narcissism, your self-control, your desire to be as healthy as possible so you can continue to live your life with your arms wide open- the way you always have.

It’s your birthday today. So I’ve seized the opportunity to tell you and my small corner of the internet, about how lucky I am not to have big brother like you, but to have you specifically as my big brother and dear friend. There is no one else in the world like you, Erik. You are wonderfully special and I love you immensely. Happy Birthday.

Love,

Frankie

An Afternoon on the Boat

The first time I went on a boat, I went on a fishing trip on the ocean with my family. We saw pigs swimming in the bay. I clung to the sides of the boat, fearful of falling in and being eaten by a shark, or a swarm of sharks. The second time, Jon came along and as he tells all interested parties, I made him seasick. It was very choppy and looking at the horizon did not help to quell my nausea (nor his).

Since those first experiences, I’ve come to really enjoy going on my dad’s boat. Boating on the lake is far superior to ocean boating, the water tends to be much calmer and my galeophobia doesn’t extend to freshwater. The perfect weather on Saturday made it the ideal first boating day of the season. I tossed on a bikini and grabbed my watercolors and a sketchbook and we were off.

It was Tex’s first time on the boat. He really enjoyed it, until he could no longer cross his legs, and whined until we went to shore so he could relieve himself.  For the most part, I just sunned myself, but I also did some quick paintings. They aren’t anything special, but I really enjoyed the process. Sitting on the bench of the boat, with Tex leaning up against my bag and the sun shining down on us, was pure contentment. I look forward to many more afternoons spent on the boat this summer. What is it about a body of water and some sun that breed happiness?

Because it was Tex’s first time on the boat, I learned a bit about boating with dogs which I thought I’d share. Next time, I’ll remember to take something for him to do. He can’t roam, so I think he’d have been more content with a bone or a stuffed animal to chew. We brought him water, and gave him as much as he wanted. Next time, I’ll limit how much water he gets,so his bladder won’t fill up as quickly. The boat doesn’t have any shade and Tex was hot, I’ll make sure to bring an umbrella or something for him next time.  If you have a tip about boating with dogs, please leave it in the comments! Advice is always appreciated here. Happy Wednesday!

The Wedding

This weekend my family and I went to the wedding of one of our closest friends. After some concern about the possibility of rain, we were delighted by the beautiful weather she had on Saturday. Everyone had a great time. The couple was gorgeous, radiating happiness the entire day. I was so happy to celebrate a happy union with family and friends.   I ate purple mashed potatoes, wore my mustard yellow dress with a soft teal necklace, felt guilty taking pictures during mass, and delighted in dancing too much. Here are some of my favorite shots from the day. (I stopped taking pictures after the first dance, and instead I let myself just have a good time.)

A Day at the Lake

Yesterday my family spent the morning at Round Valley Reservoir or what we refer to as “The Lake.” My dad’s boat hasn’t been made seaworthy since it was made winter-worthy in December, so we all relaxed on the shore. My mom, brother and I read, while my dad fished, and Tex frolicked along the shore.

My dad caught two beautiful brown Trout. One was big enough to keep, but he eventually threw it back because it wouldn’t have been enough for all of us. I had to laugh because as soon as my dad had one on the line, both my brother and I whipped out our cameras or in Erik’s case, camera phone. My dad goes fishing at least once a week in a decent-enough weather, but it’s always a photo opportunity when we get to see him catch one. Those fish probably felt like celebrities, with my family playing the part of the annoying paparazzi.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have the perfect settings to get the photos I wanted at the lake. It was weirdly lit, cloudy but extremely bright, add the reflection of the water and I just couldn’t get my settings where I wanted, quickly enough. Luckily there’s always a chance to make something out of nothing with the help of an editing program. Picnik, the website I usually use to edit my photos is closing in three days, so last night I decided to try picMonkey. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it. It has all the basic editing options plus a ton of extra special effects. For these photos, after a few basic edits to color saturation and exposure, I chose one of the presets under papyrus. It gave the photos a grainy quality I enjoy.  Unfortunately, there is no collage feature on picMonkey yet, which irks me, that was my favorite thing to use.

I appreciate the fact that I was able to get some decent photos of the memories I made, despite less-than-steller camera skills. It was a treat to go to the lake for the morning with my family. We were all happy to be there together, but Tex was perhaps the happiest. However, no one was happy when my dad and I washed him and I found FOUR ticks in the process. It was really disgusting, but I guess it was a small price to pay for all the fun we had at the lake.

My Favorite Family Tradition; Italian Antipasti

For any type of get-together on my mom’s side, no matter how big or small, we always have antipasti. Antipasti is basically the Italian appetizer course, and what you’re served depends on the Region in Italy and the season. For example if you’re in a region close to the ocean, you would most likely have several seafood dishes, where as if you lived in the mountains, you’d probably have more meat and cheese. We’ve Americanized our antipasti a bit and we somtimes adopt the things you might see during a French cheese course. But really, the lovely thing about antipasti is that you can customize it to your and your family’s liking.

Our antipasti always has five things, vegetables (either fresh, pickled, or pre-cooked and soaked over night), bread, at least one meat (salami, prosciutto, sopressata), cheese, and olives. For our antipasti on Easter, we added Fig Jam, Sunflower Honey, and candied pecans to go with four types of cheeses and I also made Fava Bean Crostini (which were incredible). In my house, we eat the antipasti an hour or two before the main meal, and it is always my favorite part, mostly because I could live on olives and cheese.

Some other things we might include in an antipasti; sun-dried tomatoes, fresh tomatoes and mozzarella, seafood salad, baccala (cod salad), steamed shrimp, my mom’s clams, marinated mushrooms, pepperoncini stuffed with cheese or meat, grilled eggplant salad with parsley, pickled or roasted beets, and cooked red peppers. Regardless of what is included, antipasti is my favorite family tradition and I know it’ll always be a part of my family’s celebrations.

Do you have any food traditions in your family? Does anyone else do antipasti, what do are your must-haves?

The Best Fried Fish

In my house, we take turns cooking. My parents each have staples that they’ve perfected over the years. My mom makes pasta sauce, clams, and the Thanksgiving stuffing. My dad assembles our Christmas lasagna, grills any and all our meats, and he fries our fish. His fried flounder is the best of all the staples in my household.

When it’s warm enough, he fries the fish outside, in an electronic frying pan. He’s never without his sous chef, Tex, whose only job is to make my dad laugh.  When I asked my dad for his recipe, I learned that the most important part is in the act of frying. The recipe is really simple, but only after years of experience, would I be able to fry fish as well as my dad.

Here’s his Fried Flounder Recipe anyway.

In a low flat bowl, beat an egg and a bit of water. In another low flat bowl, pour some Progresso, Italian flavored breadcrumbs. Dip the flounder into the egg mixture, then let it drip off, and put the fish into the breadcrumbs. My dad made sure I knew, that “you have to push the breadcrumbs on, so that they really stick.” Once all the fillets have been breaded, heat canola oil to about 325 degrees. Fry the fish for about 3-4 minutes on each side , until they’re toasted and crispy.

They’re best if eaten when still hot, but they also make delicious fish sandwiches the day after.

Do you have family staples? What are your favorites?

 

Getting into the Spirit of the Season

I remain overcome with sadness over my grandmother’s passing, and yet I wish to celebrate the delight of this season. Occasionally, I’m able to do that.

I can sit, watch, and photograph my father teaching my sister how to make our traditional Christmas lasagna.

I can pick up my favorite of my grandmother’s antique ornaments and find the perfect spot to place it on the tree.

I can knit more gifts and keep my hands busy.

I can attempt bokeh photographs (and fail).

I can create self portraits in a random bulb on the tree and capture the beauty in the details of gifted tulips.

I can go through the motions of Christmas, but then suddenly out-of-the-blue it hits me; she’s gone and although we have her wonderful laugh captured in a movie, my life and especially the holiday season will never be the same without her.

I do not wish to keep dwelling on my sadness in this space. I want to get back to my regular perky self, and I will but in the interim, I hope you’ll excuse some periodic, somewhat pointless, most likely picture-filled posting.

Sometimes…

Hope vanishes, allowing Sadness to cast a shadow called Doubt. Doubt creeps and crawls and wiggles its way stage front in your mind. And suddenly, it feels like the rug is pulled out from underneath you, and all your decisions seem irrational. The oxygen is sucked out of the room, by the enormous elephant who’s standing on your chest, prodding you with his trunk. You look up into his eyes, which are uncannily familiar, a soft blue you recognize but can’t place and abruptly your cheeks are moist. You’re crying but you’re not sure why you started something you can’t possibly finish.

 

Loss is devastatingly cruel but self-pity is futile. Yet sometimes, sometimes, you just have to allow yourself to grieve.

 

Yesterday, the afterlife (whatever it may be) , gained a beautiful, loving, soul- my grandma. While my family is dealing with the grief of losing someone so dear to all of us, we’re also glad for her release from pain.  Cancer, and particularly pancreatic & liver cancers are cruel and painful, and at least, she’s no longer suffering. She was truly an incredible person , who lived a long, full, beautiful life.  

 

Thank you all for your kind wishes, vibes, and thoughts sent our way.

Crafting to Still My Heart

This weekend I had a lot of emotions drifting in and out of my heart. Last Wednesday, the day after I published this post, my lovely grandmother, had a massive stroke. I don’t really wish to elaborate now, but she’s very, very ill.  In true Frank fashion, I tried to focus on crafting to keep my mind busy and my heart still.  It was somewhat effective, so I do have some crafting session products to share.

Please ignore my puffy face and forced smiles in the pictures above. Instead focus on the three cowls I made. These will be gifts for my two aunts and my mom. For the first time, I followed a pattern, and they turned out fantastically. Plus, each one took about an hour from start to finish. The pattern was free but I can’t find a link for it right now. When I do, I’ll share. The yarns were all very different color-wise but equally beautiful, as well as soft and thick, a pleasure to work with. It was a little bit expensive, but when I finish with all the other yarn I purchased, I may go back get more for another cowl for myself.

I also made some Holiday cards this weekend. I cut out simple tree, light, and present shapes from my stash of magazine papers. Then I modge podged them onto white cardstock cards. They aren’t the most elegant cards, but I enjoy their simplistic prettiness. I made eight but below are some of my favorites.

This is going to be a very hard, long week for me and my family.  I was amazed by all of your beautiful comments on the post about my grandma. I know that just a story about her touched many of you, so I would appreciate it if you send your positive thoughts our way.  

Thank you and Happy Monday.

<3 Frank