looking forward to my parents’ Thanksgiving visit…

contemplating what to cook for my first time hosting a holiday dinner…

thinking about my grandma a lot…

missing my siblings….

failing at returning calls and responding to emails…

working really hard on my letterpress project…

wishing I could take a break to relax…

resisting buying myself a sewing machine and/or new camera lens…

trying to be content with what I already have and not what I can’t afford…

planning out the homemade Christmas gifts to give to family and friends…

avoiding eye contact with the giant pile of laundry I didn’t do this weekend…

worrying about my family and friends who might be affected by Hurricane Sandy…

hoping you all have a safe and happy Monday…

One reason for my radio silence, was that I added babysitting on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays to my schedule. I hang out with two really awesome kids on those three afternoons. I really enjoy it, and it’s giving me some extra money to help with these things called bills, but it’s exhausting!

I also spent all my nights this week at the University working on a letterpress project that is due next Wednesday. I haven’t even started printing yet- I’ve just been setting type, sizing my paper, and doing some planning. I’m really excited about it so I hope it turns out as awesome as it is in my head.

This weekend is going to be a busy one as well, but hopefully it’s as awesome as I imagine it could be. I’m definitely going to be working on my letterpress project some more but I also hope to hit up the farmer’s market (possibly for the last time this season), do a little bit of painting or knitting, carve a pumpkin, and find a new book to read. Additionally, I have tentative plans with some new friends (who are a few of Jon’s students- Is that weird?). We’re supposedly going to watch some Disney Halloween movies and make some Mexican fare. If it ends up happening, I’m positive it will be the highlight of my weekend.

Anyway, life is really good. It’s busy and chaotic and full and positively awesome. I feel so much better when I focus on the now, instead of worrying about the future. What are your weekend plans? Any one else going to butcher a pumpkin?

I hope you have a happy weekend no matter how you spend it!

One of the first few days after our arrival in town, I was hanging out with Jon in the glass studio when an older woman entered. Jon introduced us. As she asked me about my interests, I examined her necklace: an image of Jesus with two sparkly red gems where his eyes would be. My attention returned to her face when she said, “You should sit in on my letterpress class.” Not having a clue what exactly letterpress entailed, I enthusiastically responded affirmatively, because I wanted to get to know the woman who wore such an outlandish necklace. 

In the short time since that day, I’ve learned quite a bit about letterpress, art, and generosity. By allowing me to actively participate in her class, she has made me feel so welcome and so capable. In the past, one of the things with which I struggled, is feeling accepted in Jon’s artistic world; I’m often embarrassed by my lack of experience, talent, and ideas. I’ve not once felt that way being here, and my letterpress friend has been a big reason why.

Before this letterpress class, I had never been to, let alone participated in a College Art School Critique. In our third critique last week, I felt at ease discussing my work and others’ works and I was actually excited to share what I had created. I feel like this class and my friend have helped me to tap into my creative capabilities.

Unlike almost every other craft in which I’ve dabbled, letterpress doesn’t allow for a great deal of spontaneity. It requires a high level of patience, planning, and meticulousness. Despite (or perhaps because of ) the fact I don’t possess those traits in droves, I am inspired by the parameters of letterpress; I am enjoying the push to think and create in a completely different way.

I’m not sure that I’ll pursue letterpress very much after this class ends, but right now I am loving it. I relish having due dates for my creations. Knowing that others are going to be examining and critiquing my work forces me to push myself to create to the best of my abilities.  I know it won’t last forever, but I’m kind of high on letterpress right now.

Since early September, Jon and his students have been busy making glass pumpkins. This weekend, their efforts culminated in a glass pumpkin sale. I enjoyed hanging out with them as they sold their work to raise money for the student sculpture organization. They ended up making over $10,000 total and at the end of the sale, only 20 pumpkins remained. It was definitely a success! The only damper on the day was the weather; I don’t think it could have been chillier.

One of Jon’s students borrowed my camera for a bit and took some really nice photos. She managed to snag this one of me as I was texting my mom. It might just be my new favorite picture of myself.  My hair got so long!

Jon worked really hard to make this fundraiser happen. He taught his students how to make the pumpkins, spent countless hours making them alongside his students, organized the marketing, and presented the idea to do a sale in the first place. During the sale on Saturday, a customer asked the students about why the sale was happening and how it came to fruition. One student responded, “Well it’s basically because of him,” and casually pointed towards Jon. Needless to say, I remain quite proud.

Ingredients:  Salmon (fillets not steaks), mustard, panko (Japanese bread crumbs), dill, sesame seeds, olive oil, salt and pepper.

Instructions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Chop dill, and mix with panko and sesame seeds. Place salmon in a greased baking dish skin side down. Spread a thin layer of mustard on the entire top of the salmon. Then sprinkle a layer of the panko/dill mixture on top of the mustard. Sprinkle salt, pepper, and a bit of olive oil over the top. Bake for 35-45 minutes until your salmon is cooked through.

I didn’t include measurements for this recipe because I figured individuals would want to adjust the proportions to their own tastes. I think it’s delicious served with a lemon wedge, arugula salad, and roasted potatoes. Whenever I make it, Jon usually makes a mustard and mayonnaise dip to accompany it. It’s a nice but unnecessary touch.

PS: My blog totally turned into a food blog this week, but I was really busy! I try to keep a few recipe posts in my draft folder, and it was so great to be able to post them.

As I got a little bit older, my interests shifted and I dreamed of being a movie star. I acted in the plays in elementary school and sang my heart out in the shower and while laying in bed at night.  I fondly recall my first (and only) standing ovation for playing Yente in Fiddler on the Roof. I was passionate about the stage.

In highschool, as my friends and I were all deciding on colleges and majors, I was drawn to advertising and communications. I dreamed of writing commercials, designing print ads, and developing entire marketing campaigns. I thought it was going to be my future career.

Then, my freshman year of college, I hated my intro to communications class. It was the worst class I had my first semester and the only one I was subsequently doing below my normal standard (which was all A’s). So I did what any thoughtful college freshman would do, and hastily changed my major to psychology.

I did not have a clue what I was going to do when I graduated. I purposely tried not to think about it. I enjoyed the classes in my major- they were interesting. I never declared a minor, but instead took any and every class that interested me. And I had a wonderful college experience because of those choices.

However, here I am, three and half years later, and I’m still not sure what it is I want to do with my life. I’m working at a job that I’m very, very good at, extremely overqualified for and embarrassed to tell people about.  I feel like I’ve gotten stuck in a rut because I’m not sure what it is I want to do with my life.

Fortunately, I have a highly valuable education, lots of knowledge, a good heap of creativity, decent people skills, and a bit of born-with talent. I’m just lacking direction. I don’t know what I want to do or who I want to be; And this world is so big, so scary, and completely overwhelming.

I’ve always been told that I can do anything I set my mind to. (All parents say this to their children).  I just haven’t been able to set my mind to any one thing yet. And I really wish I could.

Influencing the world in a positive way and being happy with who I am and what I do- that’s all I really want. But sometimes that feels like it’s too much to ask.

I really wanted to make some pumpkin muffins because as soon as fall hits, I crave pumpkin and squash.  I was determined to use an entire can of pumpkin puree without doubling a recipe. I compiled a few different recipes and came up with this. These muffins are perfection, the only pumpkin muffin recipe I’ll ever use. I put a crumbly oat topping on half of them, and it gave them a nice texture, but they are delicious plain as well. If you don’t have any whiskey available, I’m sure juice or water or even some cooled chai tea would make delightful substitutes.

Muffins:

Wet Ingredients:

1 Can (15 oz) pumpkin puree

4 eggs

1/2 cup veggie oil

1/2 cup whiskey

2 cups maple syrup

Dry Ingredients:

2 cups all-purpose flour (or whole wheat)

1 cup cake flour

1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon allspice

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

Combine all the dry ingredients in a bowl. In a stand mixer, combine wet ingredients until just blended.  Add dry ingredients to wet mixture. Spoon the batter into paper lined muffin pans. Bake at 350 degrees, for about half an hour, until tooth pick comes out clean. (I start checking at 20 minutes, and then every five minutes after that. )

Optional oat topping:

Combine 1 cup of oats, 1/2 cup of maple syrup, and 1/4 cup of melted butter. Place on top of muffins before you bake them.

This made me 28 muffins. I sent them to Jon’s students to prevent myself from consuming every single one, but I had about 5 first.  I suspect that my baking addition has a little something to do with why my jeans are starting to feel a bit tighter…

Leading up to my making this, as the butternut squash sat on the counter and I admired it, Jon made sure I knew that he didn’t eat it. So I made it while he was teaching one night, had it for dinner and then continued to have leftovers for lunch. A few nights later, Jon made himself some Creamy Chicken and Rice Soup. I heated up my Curried Butternut Squash Soup and Jon looked at it and said, “Oh that looks delicious.” I replied, “haha, funny,” thinking he was teasing me, but then he said, “No really, it looks and smells really good. Can I taste some?” He took one bite, then another, and another, until I had to stop him so some would remain for my dinner. “I thought you didn’t like this?” I asked. “Well I didn’t know you were going to make it Indian,” he replied. So yeah, if you think you don’t like butternut squash soup, give this recipe a try; you might change your mind. It changed my boyfriend’s.

Ingredients: 1 whole butternut squash ( cut into 1 inch cubes), 1 parsnip, 1 turnip, 1 carrot,  3-4 celery stalks, 2 1/2 cups veggie stock, olive oil, 1 shallot, 2 garlic cloves, 1 tablespoon curry, 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (or more to taste), 1 tablespoon cumin, 1/2 teaspoon allspice, 1 cup milk,  Salt and Pepper to taste. Croutons, chives, or sour cream as optional garnish.

Instructions:  Toss (cut up) squash, turnip, parsnip, carrot, and celery with olive oil, salt, curry, cumin, allspice and pepper. Roast in the oven at 400 degrees for about 25 minutes. In a soup pot, sweat the shallot, garlic cloves, and pepper flakes for about 5-7 minutes. Add the roasted vegetables. Saute for one minutes. Cover with veggie stock. Boil until all vegetables are completely tender. Use a handheld blender to combine until smooth. (You can use a regular blender for this as well, but let the soup cool first.) Add milk and blend more. Bring soup back to a boil. Garnish with croutons, sour cream, or chopped chives.

This soup is exquisite. I hope you will make it because I’m sure if you do, you’ll enjoy it immensely. Me, I cannot wait to make it again, I just need to hit up the farmer’s market for some more butternut squash.

I’m learning quite a bit about myself and about Jon and about how we work as a couple. I’m learning what it’s like to constantly worry about money, a state of mind that is completely new for me. I’m learning how to swallow the lump in throat every time I think about Tex and how I left him. And I’m learning how to bundle up for what I consider freezing, and locals consider nothing. (If one more person tells me, “Oh this is nothing, just wait until winter!” I may break down.)

With all change, even good change, there is a period of adjustment. There are high highs, and low lows, and what seems like very few plateaus in between.  But slowly, I’m starting to truly settle in to this new chapter. Yesterday, as I stomped through leaves to my car after work, I looked around and felt really comfortable. Then I thought, “I’m in Wisconsin, I’m living in Wisconsin;  I never even dreamed of visiting Wisconsin and somehow here I am and here I’ve been, for a month and half.” It is beyond bizarre.

At the beginning of the week, I went food shopping. I love the grocery store, but the traffic pattern to get there from my residence is quite ridiculous. But I drove to there without a thought, completely immersed in my new routine of getting groceries. And it’s moments like that where this feels normal and I’m mostly content.

I’m still having those other moments, where I’ve been home alone for a few hours while Jon is teaching his class, and all the blogs have been read, and the shows have been watched, and I’m still waiting for him to get home, and I do wonder what I was thinking. But when he gets home, and we commiserate about how cold it is while he makes himself dinner, I think to myself, “this feels right.”

(Now if only I could get everyone I love to move here, get a job that I love and that pays well, and change the location of Wisconsin to that of Florida, this would feel perfect.) Have a great weekend friends!